White coat. Heels.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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