the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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