I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
