Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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