Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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