dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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