That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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