once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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