At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
