ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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