i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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