he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
