Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
as a side note pls kill me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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