Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
