My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
