What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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