Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
