i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
