i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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