You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
