If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize