If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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