i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
