another moral hangover. fuck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
