I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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