I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
