Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
