her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
