Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
