She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
