There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize