I'm going to jail i love you
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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