Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
