discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
