its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
