if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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