And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
