If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i will never coherently bang her
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
