hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sober January is a disaster.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
