Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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