I smell stomach acid.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
