forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
