I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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