Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize