Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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