Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize