One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
