I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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