You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
