3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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