At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
