he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
