I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize