i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
