I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
