I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i now understand why vodka
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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