I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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