Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
