she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
