it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
